Better Late Than Never

So, I moved. You should already know that – it’s all over Facebook. Even this – the fact that I have posted to my blog – will be posted to Facebook. Social media has increased the velocity of the world to the point that even profound questions like “Are we as a world better off having all this instant communication with hundreds of people (who we call “friends”), or is the quantity and constancy of it actually degrading the quality of our relationships?” become cliché in a matter of hours. Such questions are posed (or should I say “posted”) then spread everywhere via online media, only fade away unanswered. Is there an answer? Is it purely subjective, as quality so often is?

Or is there an answer, but none of us want to hear it? If the answer is indeed “yes, we are better off without it”, then of course I myself don’t want to hear it. I love the possibilities that social media, and the Internet in general, offers. If I want to know something, I can Google it. If there is indeed a Mrs. Right out there somewhere, she could very well be Facebook stalking me right now! That widget I’ve always wanted might be offered at an absurd bargain on eBay right now; a similar bargain might be offered on Travelzoo for a plane ticket to one of the many places I’d love to go, where there would surely be people I’d love to meet. Of course, it’d be tough to actually befriend said people, being that we would likely only have a bit of time to spend together. But then again, I could (and would) “friend” them on Facebook, which seems to be a significant stride toward intimacy in today’s terms.

Maybe I should change. Ditch Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn . . . all of it. After all, I doubt I’ll look back, old and grey, at my time spent on any of these sites (or even my blog, for that matter) as time well spent. And yet, as I think of how much networking, how many social events, how much I upkeep with friends and so on is facilitated on these sites, the thought becomes unfathomable. Especially now, as I go through what I’d consider to be a significant life change.

So maybe one day I will do it. I could look at it like I’m looking at my life now: better late than never! 2010 was a year dark and steep for me; one that I am in many ways glad is over (see previous posts and/or ask me personally). It was after much agonizing that I decided that it would be wise for me to move to Northern California for a spell – yes, to my parents’ house – and pursue some of the work and school opportunities that were available up here. And as of yet, loneliness aside, I’m very glad I did. My classes in horticulture and integrated pest management and like dreams come true, teaching me things that I was killing myself trying to learn on my own. As I look forward to the classes themselves, I also look forward to how they will serve to enable my pursuit of sustainable development – orient career goals.

After some wayward years in my late teens and through my twenties, I feel like I have returned to the passions of my childhood, nature being number one, and found a way to approach them with direction and significance. And as I learn to incorporate other themes that have found their way to my center – social justice, community building and more, all in the name of missional living – I look forward to what I hope will result.

I knew these things were deeply held values of mine, but until the last year and a half or so I couldn’t figure out how to synthesize them into a living, breathing existence. And, truth be told, I still haven’t completely. But I’m on my way, and I’m not letting the old demons of regret and despair get in the way. It’s too late, I would say to myself. I don’t want to do it alone. But now, I have faced both of these. “It’s only too late if you don’t start today” the old saying goes. And as far as doing it alone goes? This fear still gnaws at me, yet I go on. Another little saying I saw recently, framed on my friend Shaun’s wall in his house is Mexico, said something to this effect: “A joy shared is doubled; a sorrow shared is halved.” Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

I’m getting ready to go up to a conference in Seattle with some friends from NieuCommunities, and I am excited – no two ways about it. It looks like it’s going to be a gathering of thoughtful, inspirational, reverent people . . . people I want to be like. People who, against much opposition from many sides, strive to be more like Jesus as they hold deeply to him having revealed himself to them.

I want to keep on going through this challenging season because, for some reason, I don’t think this heaviness should have the final word. I haven’t always though this way; I didn’t when I was young, and I don’t always now, but I try to commit to doing so day by day . . . by the hour . . . by the minute. Did I not today or a minute ago? No problem. Better late than never.